Random Thoughts

When I first started this thing I promised I wouldn't make it some crazy "emo" thing where I spill all my deepest darkest feelings. I intend to keep that promise, so don't worry just yet. But, sometimes, when I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to, it just feels good to put things out there. It makes them seem... real. But like I said, no full on, crazy, vintage WB soliloquy about my emotions. Just some things I need to put out there.

The holidays are equal parts beautiful, cheery, lonely and painful.

New York is the only city where you can be completely and totally surrounded on every side by people and feel completely alone.

I shouldn't be allowed to cry about something that I never really had in the first place.

I'm a big girl. I can handle the truth. You don't have to lie to me. That just makes me feel stupid.

I wish I had to work 14 hour days every day so I wouldn't have to think about anything else.

It makes me feel like a bad person when someone I love is so happy and gets exactly what they want and I feel jealous because I just lost the exact same thing. I should be happy for them, and I am, but I'm also jealous, and that's wrong.

I'm happy in the city right now and I want to be TOTALLY happy here. Because I can't see my life anywhere else.

I hope I have a job in 6 months.

I hope I have a roommate in 6 months.

I hope I have an apartment in 6 months.

I hope things are different in 6 months.